September 2009
26 posts
“Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why’s he gotta do a...”
“It’s not the gardener’s job to pick up the dog shit. If you...”
“Do these announcers ever shut the fuck up? Don’t ever say stuff just...”
“A scar ain’t 13 god damned stitches. I’ll introduce you to men with...”
“I’m sitting in one of those TGI Friday’s places, and everyone looks...”
“You’re gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it’s not the size of...”
“I wouldn’t worry about money…No, it has a lot to do with happiness,...”
“No, you can not borrow my t-shirt…How about instead of standing there...”
“I think the baby shit….Well, I’m smelling shit right now, so if it...”
“Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t...”
“The universe does not give a fuck about you. You are a speck in its shit.”
“Fucking Radio Shack. It’s a wonder they even know how to use a bathroom...”
“Don’t listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People...”
“Happy birthday, I didn’t get you a present…Oh, Mom got you one?...”
“Anytime someone sells you food in a sack, it’s not a sack of food,...”
“I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it…No,...”
“Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting...”
“You don’t know shit, and you’re not shit. Don’t take that the...”
“Here’s a strawberry, sorry for farting near you…Hey! Either take the...”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar….Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you...”
“Who in the fuck is Tila Tequila? Is she a stripper?…That’s her?...”
“Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it....”
“I’m having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain’t mixing...”
“You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullshit, I saw you touch it….I don’t give...”
“It’s just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when...”
“What are you listening to?…I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit....”
